By wanting to know how to surrender then you are utilising a part of yourself that wants. Joy is not about wanting but rather embracing the natural part of yourself that sometimes is not heard when other painful experiences dominate. It is the same as love. You cannot want love rather love is an expression of sharing and by doing this the love within flows naturally. Knowing this, that joy is alive within you, then there is always hope and a sense of discovery in opening up to what is naturally part of all humanity... joy. I thank you for the courage in doing this.